Training Day

I make papes off the sh*t I create, and then dictate
So get your motherf*ckin shit straight
I got skills and I'm hard to kill
So y'all bitch-ass rappers better chill and just guard your grill...

The Denver Nuggets start their training camp today in Durango, Colorado. For those of you who don’t know, Durango is tucked neatly into the southwest corner of the state, about a six hour drive from the Denver area.

Outside of the Lakers holding their training camps in Hawaii, NBA teams usually don’t venture too far from their plush leather recliners, Xbox, flat-screen TVs, catered meals, and the personal hot tubs of their local arenas or team HQ.

A long, long, time ago, I spent a considerable amount of time in Durango (population: 15,000) and from what I remember, this is what will greet Carmelo and the squad for the coming week:

-Lots of dudes with beards. We’re talking about 1/2 the male population rocking the Michael McDonald look. If Andre Miller looks like Issac Hayes when they return, you know they were in Durango.

-A wayward pet shop. For some reason I ended up at a lonely pet shop somewhere in the Durango area. It was a one room store on the side of a hill with no other businesses, homes, or even a paved road within 5 minutes. Not a tack or feed store either, but a freaking old school pet shop with fish, cats, iguanas and the like. Very eerie. Maybe Marcus Camby can go get himself a goldfish and a book on German Shepherds.

-Marijuana. Lots of it. All over. But that shouldn’t be a problem, I mean, NBA players and weed? No way.

-The campus where they will practice, Fort Lewis College, isn’t exactly Harvard. An old friend of mine who went to school told me a story of the requisite “guy who will do anything for money” who sucked on a used bandaid they found on the ground for $5. If that guy is still a student there (which wouldn’t surprise me) maybe he can get $10 to completely eat JR Smith’s jock strap.

-The four corners. The only place in the United States where four states meet; and Earl Boykins still can’t stretch to get into all four.

-Hitchhikers. Fort Lewis is atop a mesa in town, with just a couple roads leading in and out. Students wishing to go into town will frequently hitchhike to and fro. There’s even a “hitchhike” station were cars can give rides to the poor saps. Without their Escalades and Benzs, will the local Durango populace pick up the Nuggets and Reggie Evans on their way back to the dorms? I certainly hope so, if they value their manhood.