Putting his Biscuit in the Basket

The Super Ho is loose in your section
And he's armed with a powerful erection
So grab your girl and run for protection
Your Mama too, cause I like to mention…

Peter Forsberg, is doing his best hockey impersonation of Roger Clemens (sans the steroids, congressional hearings, erratic behavior, and bad crew cut) and auctioning himself off to any interested NHL team midseason. Training camp? The rigors of 82 games? Huh, Peter scoffs at you!

The Avs will certainly get their cursory look, much like last season, when Peter came in well into the second half of the year and offered minimal help during the stretch run. Why Forsberg continues to pimp himself to the Avs, a decidedly average team with no realistic shot of getting what he should deem his ultimate goal- his named etched on Lord Stanley’s hardware.

So what is it that keeps Peter batting his eyes to Denver? Mile High poon. Forsberg has seen more Rocky Mountain trim than the grand champion stud bull at the Stock Show. Any person about town has seen Peter the Great over the past 14 years with various Denver honies, hotties, and skanks on his arm all over our fair city. Perhaps he caught a Nugs’ game in between ABBA shows over there and saw some new dancer he’d like to get called for icing with. During the DNC maybe he scanned the crowd and embraced Obama’s call for ‘Hope’ … and took it to mean Hope, Emily, Sarah, and Ashley. With the Donks’ depressing season, maybe he sees ample opps to get some Swedish Fish with depressed groupies. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

RELATED: Big Daddy Kane – “Cause I Can Do It Right” – “Some played with Legos, some played with PlayDoh, But I was feelin girls like a ripe tomato”