Thursday, September 22, 2011

Walk It Out


This is a battle rhyme in case you haven't noticed
You get replaced you get demoted

One of the most tired "traditions" in Colorado sports took place yesterday: the Rockies annual "Thank You" lap around Coors Field. The Purp should feel all the embarrassment of that tart who stayed over at your apartment back in the day and had to throw back on her beer and smoke stained gear from the night before take the seemingly endless morning march back to her car (while you, the ultimate gentleman, snoozed away and didn't even get up with her to offer her a breakfast Nutrigrain bar.)

Hey, lets walk around the field throwing cheap t-shirts to our suckers fans to thanks them for watching one of our most disappointing seasons in recent memory. Hey, kid in front row, high five this player. You don't know who he is because we just brought him up, or traded for him from Oakland, or maybe he's just a groundskeeper. Clap clap clap!

Also, we'll give away some special prizes, like bats and gloves. Normally we'd ship these to our Dominican academy because they belong to players who have no chance of being of here in 2012! Yeah! Nice, watch Tulo and CarGo walk around the warning track and scream to them. Just don't scream at them about their lack of clutch hitting throughout the year. Go Rockies!

Manager Jim Tracy will lead the walk, although after this year he should be walking straight to his office and figure out a new coaching staff. Hey, that's Eric Young, his dad hit a big home run 18 years ago! Hooray! Thank you, fans! That's what it reads on the scoreboard too; it did say Padres-4 Rockies-0, but we love you fans!

Now we're walking in front of the away team dugout, you know the same away teams that gave us a losing record in what should be one of the toughest home fields in the National League! Yes! Here, take this batting practice ball! Ooooooh, look it's Dinger! He's a dinosaur!

Thank you fans! Nearly three million strong in 2011! Look how much we love you and your ticket buying discretionary income! See our walk of shame!

RELATED: Showbiz & AG - "Soul Clap" - ("...more suckers than a World War")

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1 Comments:

Anonymous skyler ulbrecht said...

love that picture of Monfort clapping. Like Nero as Rome burns...

12:06 PM  

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